How to Handle an Offense

Prov 14:10

• Intro:
  • In the Christian life, you are going to be hurt by another Christian at some point in your life.  
  • It seems that everyone goes through this experience at least once.  
  • And some folks go through it several times.  
  • This lesson is about what to do when another Christian “stabs you in the back,” or slanders you or brings reproach.  
  • You need to know how to handle an offense.
• Don’t murmur and complain – Prov 14:10 –
  • You are the only one who really understands how you feel.  
  • Others will either minimize the pain or exacerbate the problem in siding with you against the other person.  
  • Telling others, generally, just fans the flames and gets you more riled up than you were before.
• Take it to God – 1 Pet 5:7 –
  • The Lord cares for you.  
  • Through an experience like this you will draw closer to the Lord when you cast your care on him.
• Repeat, “It is Well” – 2 Kings 4:18-26 –
  • These experiences are rough, to say the least.  
  • But you must continue to view them from God’s perspective.  
  • When you continue to love the Lord and fulfill his purpose in your life, all is well [Rom 8:28].
• Worship God – Job 1:20-22 –
  • After all the bad news Job received in one day, he worshipped God.  
  • You cannot take your eyes off the Lord.  
  • And you cannot charge God foolishly.  
  • Often we think God should have intervened on our behalf to prevent this incident.  
  • Don’t blame God.
• Don’t retaliate – Prov 20:22 –
  • Don’t try to get even.  
  • The Lord didn’t say that he would spare you from this kind of trouble.  
  • He said that “he shall save thee.”  
  • It shouldn’t make any difference to you what God does to them.  
  • It doesn’t matter.  
  • He just needs to save you.
• Overcome evil with good – Rom 12:19-21 –
  • That’s what Joseph did for his brothers when they came to Egypt. 
  •  Vengeance is the Lord’s.  
  • He’ll repay if he wants to and in the way he desires.  
  • That’s none of your business.  
  • I have heard people say things like, “
  • That fellow crossed me a while ago, and now something bad has happened to him.
  • You see, God repaid him for what he did to me.”  
  • That is a very cruel attitude and not at all consistent with this passage of scripture [see also Prov 24:28-29].
• Forgive and put away the bitterness – Eph 4:30-32 –
  • Forgiveness is what the Lord has given us to get over these offenses.  
  • Forgiveness is how you put away the bitterness.  
  • If you don’t put away the bitterness, it will become a root that springs up and defiles many, like your closest friends and family [Heb 12:15].  
  • The damage to them will be on you; not on the person who offended you.  
  • You should strive to be better, not bitter.
• Visualize heaven – Rev 5:8-10 –
  • When our lives are done here on earth, we are all going to be standing and kneeling together worshipping the Lord.  
  • It won’t matter one bit what someone has done to you when we are bowing before the Lord.  
  • They may be right next to you.  
  • Praise the Lord!
• Seek reconciliation – Luke 17:3-4 –
  • You don’t have to become enemies.  
  • You may be able to reconcile down the road.  
  • Your relationship may never again be what it was but you definitely don’t want to hold a grudge.
• Minister consolation – 2 Cor 1:3-7 –
  • Other people are going to go through something like you have been through.  
  • You can minister to them because you understand how to get through the offense.  
• Conclusion:
  • These steps are tried and true.  
  • Remember them if they don’t apply to your life right now. 
  • You will certainly need them at some point down the road.